I'm Sitting On The Fence.

30 November 1999

Things are back to normal in the Marty household this week. The Christmas rubbish is over, the weather has returned to the usual grey and dull and I am back doing a job I love most days and hate just some of the time.

This week was more interesting than fun though, I have to admit. I finished off the bathroom for the old couple. What lovely people they were. I know that it is a cliché to say that old people are kind, but they really were. They were just the sort of people I would be proud to have as grandparents for our kids. They just had something special. And a marriage which lasts more than 50 years is certainly something to be proud of.

My new job – well that is quite a different story. The household is in the throws of a divorce. If I had known this when I quoted I might have thought twice. I did sense a bit of frostiness in the air between them, but kind of figured it was just their way. But turns out they are getting the house ship shape before selling up and moving in to their own places.

The husband (if I can still call him that) has a new bird who he is moving in with as soon as it is all settled and the wife, from what I can gather, is not at all happy about that. Said something to me about a mid life crises and that he will be buying a sports car next.

The trouble with being self employed is that you have to take what you are given. You don't usually have to put up with family dramas in an office job. Yeah, you get the office politics and who fancies who, but you can keep out of it if you like. With this I am literally in the middle.

Take this as an example. They are putting new doors on the bedroom and he has gone out and bought the ones he likes. He gets them home and all hell breaks loose as she assumed he would just buy the ones she had said she wanted. Of course he didn't – he wanted to wind her up. Meanwhile I am downstairs replacing some skirting and pretending like I can't hear them tearing strips off each other. Before I know it I am dragged into the argument. I had to tell them which door I felt was the best choice and as it happened she was right. But I couldn't say that could I? I just hedged my bets and sat on the fence. I pretty quickly worked out a reason I needed to go to B&Q.

So here is a few cautionary words for anyone wanting to employ a tradesman. We don't want to be involved in your petty squabbles, we are there to do a job and would appreciate being left to do it and make sure you can at least be in agreement about what needs doing. This couple are just showing themselves to be childish and petty. I think dragging the whole thing out is a waste of time. They should have sold up and moved out a long time ago.

So this week I have been so happy to get home each evening. Knowing I have a lovely wife to go home to. Yes we argue, sometimes we slam doors but when it comes down to it we both want to be like that old couple – still holding hands when we are in our 80's.

I wonder what the coming week will be like. I expect that there will be more tears before bedtime – just so long as I am not the shoulder being cried on.