Marty's Quids In

30 November 1999

Just half a pound this week. I have to admit I fell off the wagon just a little bit. Don't tell the wife, but I treated myself to a pub lunch with my mate Darren. He is a gas fitter and is the person I call on when I need a bit of gas work done. I should just go out and get qualified myself, but who finds the time to do these things?

Anyway, we went down the pub after he had helped me out with moving a boiler. I looked at the menu and I am sorry but the chips just called out to me. It was miserable outside and I needed the equivalent of a culinary roaring fire... and they really hit the spot. Sod the diet – for one day at least!

Darren is a laugh. He is a bit younger than me, single and carefree. I always hear about his dodgy weekends and how hungover he is. But boy does he work hard. He's never at home. I doubt he could keep a girlfriend if he had one!

I know the recession has been biting lately for everyone – but I have to say that I have never had a problem getting work. Darren is busy and if the Screwfix queue is anything to go by, then it is a case of “what recession?” Perhaps it is going to hit the one man band outfits eventually but I don't think it has yet.

My theory is that everyone is staying put in their houses and not selling. I read some statistic this week which showed that only 20% of people want to move nowadays compared with 80% before the recession. Also nearly 70% of people see their home as an emotional investment. People just wouldn't have thought like that a few years ago. It was all: how much can I make out of this house? And every other bloke was turning himself into a property developer. Now every entrepreneur wants to be a debt collector! Talk about giving with one hand and taking with the other.

But it has been nothing but good for me. Before the recession everyone wanted new kitchens and bathrooms so they could sell, now they want to update so they can stay. I'm quids in, no matter what!

So I finished the amorous lady's kitchen and they were so impressed I got a little bonus. No, not what you are thinking! Although she did make a point of saying she had my number if she ever needed anything. I couldn't get out of there quick enough! But the extra 50 quid really came in handy.

So I am now on another kitchen, hence the boiler move. Just a small one this time so I should be looking at just a week or so – fingers crossed. I also did those quotes for my WW chums. Nice simple jobs which should be good for that week between Christmas and New Year.

Next week I want to discuss Christmas. It is a dirty word as far as I am concerned. I am definitely the bah-humbug type. I just can't see the point. But this year I have the dreaded in laws to stay for a whole week and I am going to be thinking up some strategies for surviving it. Just might come in handy for you lot too!