Me And Paint Don't Mix.

30 November 1999

Oh dear, I have had a bit of a disaster this week. I don't know what it is about me and paint but I have a long and quite depressing story to tell about my painting experience this week.

Well actually to be fair it isn't my story it is more that of my apprentice who has been mortified at how she has monumentally stuffed things up this week. But to be fair she is my responsibility and it is down to me to make sure things are right and in this case things went so wrong...

Anyway in a bid to save some time I sent Katy off to the local DIY store to get the paint for the house. The aim was to buy enough paint for the whole house in a basic magnolia emulsion, plus the white gloss paint for the trim around the windows and skirting. Pretty basic stuff, so I left her to it.

The paint stayed in the van for a couple of days while we prepared the house for the work and I didn't think to check it. Then on Tuesday morning I asked Katy to bring the paint in and to make a start on the whole of the upstairs. I was going to be out all day and I wanted her to get as much of the walls painted as possible. She knows to keep the carpets covered and to use tape, so I wasn't concerned at all.

So late Tuesday afternoon I come back to the house to see how she is getting on and as soon as I walk into the house I know something isn't right. The whole house stinks of paint and not the water based kind. I think that maybe she is doing the trim first, but my heart is sinking...

And yes, you guessed it – two bedrooms have been painted in oil based shiny white paint...not only does it have a knock you over smell, but the light is bouncing off the walls and revealing every nasty lump and bump. It looked awful. Then there is the cost. Katy had bought enough oil based paint for all the rooms. I guess the only compensation is that she hadn't yet started doing the trim in vinyl matt paint.

I am just amazed that she kept going once she started on this painting disaster. The paint must have been so thick when it was rolled onto the walls, as it was dripping and running. Yet she persevered trying to make a good job of it. I had to forgive her just because she had tried so hard. She even said that she thought it was great that she didn't need to do two coats.

So how to fix this problem? The only thing I could think of was to undercoat the walls and and start again (in the right paint!). The smell of paint still permeates every room in the house and we have what you might call a glut of paint to keep in the shed.

I had tears from Katy as well for most of the remainder of the day, which was a bit more than I can bear. What I wanted was to be able to give her a bollocking, fix the mistake and move on. But instead I had to pussy-foot around it and make her feel better. In the end I am apologising to her for leaving her alone all day. Honestly, women!!

So I guess it is a mistake which won't happen again. And I am pretty much convinced that painting contractors are the best bet in the future. Me and paint don't mix.