My First and Last Diet

30 November 1999

I'm starving. I am deadly serious! I never in my life realised how hard it would be to give up my favourite white bread sandwiches and full fat milk. According to the lady at the Weight Watchers meeting I only have 2.5 stone to lose....and should be able to do that by around February. Doesn't she realise that Christmas and New Year fall right in the middle?

I'll be blowed if I am going to give up my Christmas dinner, Quality Street and a hard earned knees up on New Years Eve because of some diet! How many points do I need to save up for all that?

OK, calm down, I hear you say. But I have to say that this is my first and last diet. Never again. Yes, just a couple of days in and already I am struggling. I was always led to believe that men are good at sticking at things – apparently not. Claire has said that I need to stick at it until Christmas to start with and just see how I go. She is so reasonable, but having said that she has roped in the kids to keep an eye on me. Little Chloe piped up when I grabbed a bite of her biscuit: “Daddy stole my biscuit! Muuuuum!” I used to have a trusting relationship with her – no more....

So I have thrown myself into my work this week. Just started a new job on a kitchen. This is one of those kitchens which you wish you could have. It is top notch, right down to the handles and even the pipework under the sink. I know how much I have charged them to fit it, but I hate to think how much the units have cost them. Luckily they have someone coming in to do the granite worktops, because there is no way I am attempting to cut up a £2000 slab of stone.

The customers are pretty down to earth. Now this surprises me, because they have serious money. You can see it from the rest of the house. I wasn't nosing around, but I did have trouble finding the loo....anyway, this is one of those places where the furniture doesn't match, but each piece is designer and kind of go together anyway. Now I don't know about you, but if I tried that in my house it would look like I forgot to open my eyes down at Ikea. It can only be achieved by an interior designer or by someone with cash to splash.

I do find it frustrating working in this type of environment though. The thing is no matter how many of these kitchens I fit, I will never have one myself. That is kind of disheartening. I am not saying I don't enjoy my job, because I really do love it. But when you have every gadget imaginable going into a kitchen, you can't help but wish you could fit them in your own house. So many ideas and so little money to spend on them.

Having said that, it is worthwhile pointing out that the husband and wife never seem to be in the house at the same time. He is always coming home late and she seems to have lots of pressing engagements. I just hope they get to sit down in their new kitchen and actually enjoy it. The way things look, it seems unlikely the top of the range cooker is ever going to see the light of day.

So next week I will be able to tell you how much I lost and whether I am managing to cope on this diet. Hopefully I will be less irritable and super svelte. Wonders will never cease.