Thank Goodness It's Over

30 November 1999

Phew, thank goodness that is over! The in-laws have moved on to wreck havoc in another house, Christmas is over and the turkey is almost eaten, our lovely night out was ruined (more on that later...) and we just have a night at home to celebrate New Year to look forward to. Oh, and I am half a stone heavier. Roll on 2010, I need to get back to work!

Christmas Day: I crept downstairs at some ungodly hour and scattered leaves around the hall, walked some snowy footprints through the house, took two big bites out of the mince pies (I drank the beer the night before) and sprayed some dry ice around. This was my idea and a great one at that. I bought a can of that stuff which hangs in the air like dry ice and it lasts for around 20 minutes. I must have used the whole can cause it hung about for almost an hour.

Imagine the scene, mist in the air, twinkling lights on the tree, crunchy leaves underfoot and White Christmas playing on the stereo. So I called the kids down with shouts of “He's been, Father Christmas has been!” Of course Claire comes down with Ethan whose eyes are like saucers and little squeals of “Mum,mum,mum, Da Da Da” Chloe wanders down the stairs with her usual scepticism and just can't believe her eyes. Huge screams and ripped paper followed and I had a glass of champagne. Why not start early after a job well done?

The Mother-in-law gave us the lecture on whether it is wise to pretend to children about Father Christmas and Claire actually stood up for me and more or less told her where to go. She pointed out this is our Christmas and she was a guest, so put up or shut up. I couldn't have been prouder.

The rest of the day passed without incident and the food was great. I made the obligatory call to all the relatives and promised to visit in the New Year, got drunk and fell asleep during Doctor Who. If anyone knows what happened, let me know.

Well, Sunday came and we had our night out all arranged. But I believe that the in-laws had stored away Claire's outburst on Christmas Day, because they ruined the whole thing. It started with comments on what Claire was wearing (she looked amazing, by the way) and finished with a frantic phone call at half past nine. Neither child would go to sleep and could we come home as it was getting to their bed time and they needed their sleep for the big drive the next day. Some people just aren't cut out for being grandparents.

We managed to negotiate another hour, but the night was spoiled. Of course when we got in, the kids were both sound asleep, Tony and Sue were snoring as well and we had another glass of wine and watched telly till one in the morning. Ho Hum... I was hoping for much more ...wink wink.

So I couldn't be happier that it is all over. Next week I will have returned to work and will be feeling much calmer. Holidays are supposed to make you relaxed – I just felt stressed out the whole time. I'll be pleased to be ripping out a pink bathroom suite come Monday.