You’re Hired

30 November 1999

Well I am no Alan Sugar, but I think I gave these teenagers the grilling of their lives this week. You'll remember that I was to interview some apprentice candidates for a few days work a week to help me out with my new venture.

It went quite differently to how I expected. In fact I am pretty much dumbfounded by the decision I have made – but more on that later.

First guy that came for an interview (which I held on site so I could get them to show me some of their skills) was a very typical 18 year old who had more interest in his hot hatch than in getting a job. First complaint was the way he was dressed: jeans and a hoodie. I know they are going to be working in a casual environment, but this is a job interview – so dress the part!

He couldn't even sit up straight and gave me monosyllabic answers to all my questions. I am surprised he made it to college to be honest, as he wasn't exactly full of enthusiasm or brain cells for that matter. I sent him home without asking him to do anything work related. I just knew his hangovers and late mornings would do my head in. A waste of space I'm afraid.

Number two was a young bloke who was simply not cut out for physical labour. Skinny little chap with glasses, who was so shy I hardly got a word out of him. Claire would have described him as cute and want to mother him, but I need someone who can hold their own. This little guy could hardly hold himself up!

Then came the person which I have decided is perfect. And yes, you guessed it, the girl...Ten times more mature than the boys and full of enthusiasm and just seemed to have a spark about her. She just loves construction and has ambition. I asked her to do a spot of plumbing for me – just a washer change and she set to it without any questions. She even gave me a run for my money when it came to her sense of humour.

I was convinced, but I had to ask the missus. I was concerned Claire might not appreciate me working with a young lady. But surprisingly she is much more trusting of me than I would be in the opposite situation. Besides Katy (that is the apprentice's name) is just 19 and that would be obscene!!

It will be a few weeks before she starts and we have to work out which days she will be in. I have to work around her study schedule, but I am pretty excited. I just have to make sure I am making enough money to pay her.

So my week has been taken up with the admin and paperwork surrounding my new apprentice and I am doing a bit of research on the tax implications and what I need to do to be an employer. Hopefully all this rubbish doesn't become a regular thing. I hate paperwork!

This week I have the joy of a 5th birthday for Chloe. It is being held at the house on Saturday and will involve the services of a little girl's make-up artist who will be painting nails and smearing on lipstick. Plus we will be overrun by 9 screaming girls and one rather unfortunate boy. Chloe insisted on inviting him as he is the only boy in her class she likes. Maybe he and I can watch the footy...